To All The Different Kinds of Fathers, Dads, Papas, Padres and the like… Remember you are loved and appreciated… as are your cringe-worthy but enjoyable jokes! 🙂
Dad: What’s the difference between a piano, a tuna and a pot of glue?
Child: I don’t know
Dad: You can tuna a piano but you can’t piano a tuna.
Child: What about the glue?
Dad: I knew you’d get stuck there
Dad: I don’t trust those trees son.
Son: What? Why Not?
Dad: They seem shady.
A lumberjack went into a magical forest to cut a tree. Upon arrival, he started to swing at the tree when the tree shouted “Wait! I am a talking tree!”
The lumberjack grinned and said, “And you will dialogue!”
Child: What are the lion and witch doing in your wardrobe!?
Dad: It’s Narnia business!
A big cat escaped from the zoon yesterday. If I come across it I will Puma Pants!
I got fired from my job at the bank today.
A woman asked me to check her balance… So I pushed her over.
The other day I bought a thesaurus but when I got home and opened it all the pages were blank.
I have NO WORDS to describe how angry I am!
I was on the toilet and late for work.
I thought to myself “ I don’t have time for this crap!”
My dad found out I had an imaginary girlfriend.
He said, “You know, you could do better.”
I said, “ Thanks dad, that means a lot to me.”
He replied, “I was talking to your girlfriend.”
My friend recently got crushed by a pile of books.
He’s only got his shelf to blame.
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
You poker face!
Where Does a dog go when he loses his tail?
A retail store
Why is there no gambling in the zoo?
Too many Cheetahs!
Whenever someone goes to the bathroom my dad says, “mention my name… you’ll get a good seat!”
HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!!!